I have wanted to be a sponsor for some time now, it was hard to be patient but I knew I needed to wait for someone to hit their bottom and be willing to work the steps. I finally had someone reach out to me a month ago. I’ll keep him and any of the story pertaining to him completely anonymous and out of this story. That’s his story to tell, not mine. For now, this is about my side of the experience. What is it like to be a sponsor and what did I learn in my first meeting? It surprised me! Continue reading
Time to make a plan
A friend of mine recently became a bishop (think pastor/priest) and he told me that he was shocked at how many people are struggling with pornography. He doesn’t know where to start when they tell him their problems. This includes adults and youth. I’ve wanted to help create an easy to use program for youth leaders and parents. I think it’s time to put that plan into action. Continue reading
A run a day keeps the triggers away
Who knew that helping out with my child’s school project could be a trigger to view pornography? Last night my 12 year old asked for my help photoshopping a few posters for a school council election. I love to help my kids with their projects and I especially love doing anything creative. Imagine my shock to find myself totally triggered in the middle of the project. I was serving someone else for crying out loud! Thankfully, I was able to work one of my many tools I’ve learned over the years and avoid any complications like a slip. Continue reading
I was TERRIFIED to attend a 12 step meeting
I don’t know if I can adequately reproduce in words the absolute fear that I had about attending my first 12 step meeting. “What would people think?” “Who might be there?” “What if someone found out?” “What if someone I know is there?” “What if it’s a room full of weirdos?” After several months of fretting and “thinking about it” I finally got up the courage to … ask a friend to go with me. Seriously! I called a friend and asked if he’d go with me to a group meeting. Did I mention that I was absolutely terrified? Continue reading
9 months of sobriety
This week in my SAA Primary Purpose 12 step meeting I celebrated my 9 months of sobriety since starting with my SAA 12 step group and finding freedom from my addiction (you can find a local SAAPP group here if interested). We’ve restarted reading the AA big book using the question and answer study guide. We all commented on one of the paragraphs in Doctor Bob’s introduction where he whole heartedly endorsed the method of the AA 12 step program as the best way to beat addiction. What struck us most was the first key to recovery that he focused on was to share the message of your own recovery with others. That you needed to work the steps and then go find other people to help them work their steps (this is effectively step 12). Continue reading
The most terrifying question in the world.
Do you want to make a man sweat or squirm? Ask him the most terrifying question in the world: “How do you feel?”
Our mouths will form the words, “Fine, okay, good, etc.” Our brains will be in full on “Red Alert” mode!! The red lights are flashing, the sirens are sounding! The command and control is shouting, “Dive, dive, dive!!” We want to get out of there as fast as possible!
“How do we feel?” What kind of question is that? Why do you want to know? What are you looking for? Society tells men that we don’t have feelings. We’re tough. We chew nails, chop down trees, and kill wooly mammoths with our own hands!
We. Do. Not. Have. Feelings.
And we most certainly do NOT talk about them. At least, that’s what I used to think…turns out recognizing our emotions and sharing them is KEY to recovery. KEY!! Continue reading