Month: July 2017

Writings from my journal two years ago about my recovery

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A few days ago I was writing in my journal and realized I have two pages left and need a new one.  I randomly flipped backwards to see if there was anything interesting to read from what I had written over the last two years.  A complete surprise was waiting for me when I started to read, “For whatever reason I feel very triggered.  Probably because of the emotional loss of losing my oldest child to college.  I did not go to my meeting tonight…”  After that I couldn’t put it down.  It was fascinating to read the ups and downs I was going through at the time.  I also hadn’t finished my 12 steps yet but was about to and I recorded some very private, moving experiences I had at the time.  I’d like to share them with you in hopes they may help you in some way. Continue reading →

To spouses, families, and addicts: There is Hope!!

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Last night I had the honor of speaking to a group of women called the Relief Society.  It is a group within the Church of Jesus Christ whose purpose is to help prepare women for the blessings of eternal life as they: Increase faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and His Atonement; Strengthen individuals, families, and homes through ordinances and covenants; and Work in unity to help those in need.  It is a group filled with charity for each other and for those in need.  Last night that charity was about helping the wives of pornography addicts and concerned parents or grandparents wanting to protect their children from the harms of pornography, or to help those who have fallen prey to its addictive powers and cannot help themselves any longer.  They sent me a list of questions to answer that were heartfelt.  I felt the heaviness of the burden of answering those sometimes wrenching questions.  I immediately turned to God in prayer to ask Him what message I should share with them the most.  There was only one answer and it stood out to me like a beacon of light:  “Tell them how much I love them!”  I was blown away by the power of that answer and I felt that power again when I shared that love with those women and their husbands (who were invited to attend as well). Continue reading →

Confessions from counseling

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I wanted to share with you the value I find in working with a trusted professional counselor as you overcome not only the addiction itself, but more importantly, as you work to unwind the damage done by the tornado of your life that negatively impacted those around you.  If you’re early in your recovery this may not make a lot of sense just yet, but if you can trust me enough to read on and believe that there is something of value in the experiences I’ve had walking this road for 3-1/2 years now, you may find yourself in a better starting point when you work with your own counselor someday.  And if you’re saying to yourself, “There’s no way I’ll ever talk to a counselor!”  Then allow me to begin with the day I turned to the window of my counselor’s office and literally thought to myself, “I wonder how bad it will hurt to jump through that window and run away?” Continue reading →