I’ve always wondered what would happen and what I would do if I ever relapsed.  Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I can now answer that question.  When I first went through the 12 steps almost 2 years ago I had such a miraculous spiritual transformation I was convinced I would never struggle again.  And then I quickly realized that struggle was part of the human experience but as long as I stayed true to the maintenance steps I would struggle but with the help of God, not fall.  I read that half of addicts struggle to gain full sobriety off and on for a number of years before finally finding recovery and staying recovered the rest of their lives.  I was so thankful that wasn’t going to be me, or so I thought. Continue reading