In the middle of a major trial and grateful for my 12 step program

This last Friday was my last day with the company I’ve been with for the last several years.  I work in a remote office that was part of a San Francisco based company.  There were 30 of us in our office and we were all let go at the same time.  We were close, like family.  It was one of the hardest experiences of my life to say goodbye to everyone last week.  I would equate it to the pain I felt when my grandfather, who was a major part of my life, passed away suddenly.  I felt SUPER sad.  I felt lost.  I felt some fear and anxiety.  It was like a massive storm was upon me in the open ocean and I was just getting pummeled by wave after wave! Continue reading

What does it mean to have a “Broken heart and a contrite spirit?”

For most of my life I always pictured the requirement for having a broken heart and a contrite spirit was to be “broken” in spirit.  In other words, to be less than I am right now.  To give up my freedom.  Or to lose my sense of self.  Or to give up my free will.  That essentially I would lose my independence and having been broken, become unable to make my own decisions or to standup for myself and be who I want to be.  In some ways, those statements are close to the true meaning of a “Broken Heart” and yet in ways that are subtle and very important they also couldn’t be further from the truth. Continue reading