A friend of mine recently became a bishop (think pastor/priest) and he told me that he was shocked at how many people are struggling with pornography. He doesn’t know where to start when they tell him their problems. This includes adults and youth. I’ve wanted to help create an easy to use program for youth leaders and parents. I think it’s time to put that plan into action. Continue reading
Who knew that helping out with my child’s school project could be a trigger to view pornography? Last night my 12 year old asked for my help photoshopping a few posters for a school council election. I love to help my kids with their projects and I especially love doing anything creative. Imagine my shock to find myself totally triggered in the middle of the project. I was serving someone else for crying out loud! Thankfully, I was able to work one of my many tools I’ve learned over the years and avoid any complications like a slip. Continue reading
Several years ago my counselor introduced me to the concept of bottom lines. At the time, I was participating in a private group at my house and one of the members also utilized and recommended using bottom lines. A bottom line is a line you draw around behaviors and daily patterns to create a buffer zone between healthy living and living in the “danger zone” where you might become triggered and ultimately slip or act out. Continue reading
When I was 19-21 I spent two years in service to my church. I was more or less cut off from the world and focused on serving others. Pornography? No problem. I thought I had it beat and was looking forward to the rest of my life. Was I in for a shock when I got home. Continue reading
I don’t know if I can adequately reproduce in words the absolute fear that I had about attending my first 12 step meeting. “What would people think?” “Who might be there?” “What if someone found out?” “What if someone I know is there?” “What if it’s a room full of weirdos?” After several months of fretting and “thinking about it” I finally got up the courage to … ask a friend to go with me. Seriously! I called a friend and asked if he’d go with me to a group meeting. Did I mention that I was absolutely terrified? Continue reading
Last week I was writing in my recovery journal and one of the questions asked, “What behaviors or weaknesses do you want to change?” My initial response was, I’ve found my freedom from pornography, I’m good. But a few minutes later I remembered that I still struggle with viewing women as objects instead of people. If I’m not careful, when I first see a woman my brain tends to see her as her physical attributes instead of as a human with thoughts, feelings, personality, etc. I would like to change that and see all women as who they truly are — a human being, a person, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, etc. They are someone. They are not a collection of objects to be lusted after. Continue reading
Hi my name is Mike... 